Bondage Safety Guide

The Safety Guide Everyone Should Read Before Participating In BDSM

All toys contain risks if not used correctly. Especially with bondage toys, incorrect use or an inability in paying attention to their partner or lack of concern for their partner’s safety and well-being can result in serious injury. Metal sex toys used in bondage are safe when used correctly, toys that are not used correctly can quickly become dangerous. Read on for safety guides in the use of these and other bondage toys.

1. Communication:-

Make sure you have fully understood what you are doing. It is important that the submissive partner feels comfortable and that there are safe words to indicate the level of comfort and encourage or discourage the proceedings. Make clear all the things you agree to and those that you do not. Before a scene, some partners will create a contract of sorts which stipulates what each partner can and can’t do within the scene. This document will contain the limits of both partners, what each partner is willing to push the boundaries on and what each partner will refuse to engage in regardless of the other.

Contracts such as these are extremely important if a sub missive’s ability to communicate is reduced through restraining or restricting movement or sounds. An alternative and appropriate communication method should be discussed before the commencement of a scene. For example, if a submissive is planning on being physically restrained during a scene, a specific set of sounds/grunting should be agreed to which indicates discomfort, the stopping of the scene or something else. Tapping of the foot, blinking, noises, finger twitching, repeated muscle tension are all techniques and actions which can be used to communicate in the absence of other forms of communication.

2. Comfort:-

Any level of external/internal discomfort should lead to an immediate abortion of the session whether or not the active partner is skilled. Do not ignore any external or internal discomfort if it exceeds more than 3 minutes, or even if something just does not feel right. Even if your partner states that everything is okay, it is paramount that the well-being of both partners be considered.

3. Restraints:-

All forms of restraints can be firmly secured but they should not cut off circulation or cause discomfort. Have bondage safety scissors or shears handy in case you need to prematurely end the session for safety reasons. If you are using cuffs, it would be wise to test the keys beforehand in front of each other. Especially if one has multiple hand cuffs for different people, to ensure that a scene can be aborted quickly and safely during an emergency.

4. Knowledge Is Power:-

Make sure you know how to safely use all electric and steel gadgets prior to use. Hooks, anal or vaginal should always be used with a lubricant. Such gadgets are ill advised for beginners. Anal hooks should always be secured with a rope to restrict movement. Sudden jerks have been known to cause tissue tear and painful spams. Their insertion is best done meticulously to ensure that it aligns with the sub’s anatomy. If experimenting with something new, make sure that both partners have had a discussion regarding the new toy before use.

5. Move At Your Own Pace:-

Do not attempt to reenact what you may have seen in a film without discussion first. It would be prudent to bear in mind that most of what you see done on TV is acting and a lot of special effects. It may look easy but it may lead to fatal consequences, especially when attempted in the absence of a third party who can help out should anything go wrong.

In conclusion, never forget that sex toys are meant to increase the fun in the bedroom. You don’t have to do something risqué to enjoy the full benefits of these gadgets. Sometimes it is the smallest of actions that will send your partner and yourself into a whirlwind of ecstasy. Here’s to satisfaction!

6. Consent

The lines of BDSM can appear to be quite blurry especially when it comes to heavy topics like bondage, discipline, dominance and submission and sadomasochism. The lines of consent are often blurred due to what people have seen in the movies, read in books or watched on TV. Sometimes people often related the experience of what is considered to be “regular sex” to have the same rules as BDSM. Before you can even begin thinking about participating in BDSM, you will need to understand the ground rules and boundaries of the people who are engaging in the experience. The ground rules need to be specifically outlined and agreed upon by all people participating in the experience. Whether you have been with your lover for a long time, you will still need to frequently updated and go over these rules to ensure that everyone is comfortable with the experience.

Although if someone has said yes to a rule beforehand, if they are uncomfortable, unhappy or unsafe during the experience, you will need to ask them whether they are okay. If they are not okay, you will need to immediately stop the experience. There should be an agreed upon safe word in place which a lover can say to immediately end the experience. For example, if a master or mistress were to uses a paddle on their submissive but it hits them with too much force, the submissive can say a word like “Helicopter” or “Valentine” to tell their dominant partner to stop doing everything.

7. Know/Define Your Limits

A limited is defined as something which you do not want to do, participate in or experience. A limit is something which cannot be broken by someone else’s choice. There are two different types of limits:

– Soft Limits:

A soft limit is something which you currently do not what to do but you may have a future interest in doing it when you feel comfortable to do so or if your dominant partner can persuade you to do it. For example, you may enjoy having your ass spanked but you do not yet wish to experience the sensations of a paddle or whip.

– Hard Limits:

A hard limit is something which you cannot do. This may be because of a personal or moral value, it could be something which makes you feel uncomfortable or maybe it is something which could negatively impact your health. For example, you may not want to engage in Nasolingus because you do not want your nose to be sucked or it makes you feel uncomfortable because it may make your breathing more difficult.

One of the easiest ways to establish your limits is to download and print out a BDSM check list online which will outline all the main areas that you need to talk about. With the list you can also establish the things that you do enjoy. For example, if you like being restrained you can let them know your favourite types.

8. Set The Mood

Setting the mood in BDSM is important to create the feeling that is within the room. There are four main things which you should consider that include:

– Sight:

• Lighting: The lighting needs to be bright enough to show you what is around you so you can see precisely what you are doing but it should never be so bright that it takes away from the experience.

– Sense:

• Blindfolds, Gags and Masks:  You can use Blindfolds, Gags and Masks on your submissive so they cannot see, hear or smell what is happening. Different sex toys are able to restrict different senses which helps to amplify the senses that are available.
• Restraints: Using restraints like handcuffs, body restraints and chastity devices can take away their ability tomove around and do certain things so the dominant can be in complete control of the experiences that the submissive is able to participate in.
• BDSM Clothing, Costumes And Lingerie: The dominatrix and submissive are both able to dress up for their particular role. This can be extremely sexually arousing and can be used to express their personal characteristics.

– Touch

• Spankers and Ticklers: Spankers can deliver pleasurable pain whereas Feather Ticklers can offer a lighter way of stimulation which can arouse different erogenous zones.
• Erotic Electrostimulation: Erotic Electrostimulation uses electricity to stimulate a persons body, when it is done correctly it can be used for pleasure. There are various sex toys that are available that are like vibrators, nipple clamps and genital clamps which are made specifically to be e-stim devices.

– Sound:

• Music: There is quite a lot of music which is available which is inspired by the Dungeon theme. Some songs which you can consider playing includes Lady Gaga – Teeth, Puddle Of Mud – Control, Adam Lambert – For Your Entertainment and Madonna – Erotica.

9. Find The Right Place

The location is important, whether you are in the living room with access to more floor space or whether you are in the bedroom which has a bed for padding. Picking the area for the type of BDSM experience that you are planning is important. Ensure you have enough space to move your body completely and perform the actions without anything getting in the way.Some people who enjoy participating in BDSM go to a dungeon which has different types of room laid out for different activities. When deciding where your experience should take place you will need to keep in mind the type of equipment which you wish to use like:

– St Andrew’s Cross, Rack Or Stocks:

Sometimes there is BDSM equipment which is to bulky to buy and store in a personal home. If you would like to experience the unique feeling of restraint furniture like St Andrew’s Cross, Rack Or Stocks you will need to go to a BDSM dungeon.

– Bondage Furniture:

Whether it be equipment which can be used with chairs, beds and benches you should ensure that the piece of furniture is easily accessible to you and it should be set up before the experience occurs, this way you are not spending the session putting things together rather than enjoying the moment.

– Slings And Suspension Equipment:

Just like Bondage Furniture, Slings And Suspension Equipment should be set up beforehand.Slings and Suspension Equipment can be used to make the sexual experience easier by giving the dominant more control and easy access to different sex positions.

10. Talk About It Afterwards

Whether a person has vanilla sex or experiences a BDSM encounter the people involved may need to spend some time in aftercare, this can be to take care of the submissive and the dominant partner. Although the dominant person should not tire themselves out, they should have plenty of energy to be able to take care of the submissive. If both people involved are unable to take care of each other, there should be a third person who can help both people through aftercare. Aftercare should be discussed before the encounter happens and there should always be time set aside for it.  A person who needs aftercare may experience:

– Physical Exhaustion:

Physical exhaustion can appear as symptoms for stomach pain, fever, anger, chest pain, coordination problems and insomnia.

– Psychological Exhaustion:

Psychological exhaustion can appear as stress, agitation and fatigue.

Taking Care Of Someone May Involve:

– Bringing them food and water:

They may feel hungry or thirsty, in order for them to get back their strength you can make them food and bring them drinks as necessary. If your submissive is struggling to drink, you can give them a straw to make it easier. Chocolate is a good food to offer since it help to increase their blood sugar levels which can also provide them with oxytocins the love hormone.

– Talking to them:

Ask them how they are feeling? What they had felt when they experienced the encounter? How they felt the encounter had gone? How the encounter can be improved? Asking questions will help the person talk through the experience so that you can both go through any issues, problems or talk about the things they had enjoyed at a much greater level. You can offer them reassuring words that will make them feel at ease like “Everything is okay” and “Take as much time as you need”.

– Removing Sex Toys And Cleaning Up:

The dominator will need to remove any sex toys that is on the submissive like restraints, hoods and masks. When you are removing things off your submissive you should let them know so you do not frighten them. There may also be excess lubricant or debris that need to be cleaned off of the submissive. You can help them clean up by using a warm wet towel. The dominator will need to pick up things from the ground and clean up the room so the submissive has nothing to trip over.

– Taking them to a comfortable location:

Depending on where your encounter has been located you should take your submissive to a comfortable bed to lay down in or a couch that they can sit up on.

– Wounds:

Sometimes during BDSM there may be some wounds or abrasions that may need you to do some basic first aid with a band aid or some antiseptic cream, this could be due a sex toy like a whip or a paddle being used during the encounter.